another irritating day..

Day by day i saw.....i heard... laughing and happy talking by those two....
it so irritating... . ..
yet..so sad~... WHY I CANT BE LIKE THEM...!!???

sometimes i really envy or hate her...
she does that ....everytime when... aarrggghhh..... >___<

i felt so stupid...realllyyyyy daaammmnnn STUPID...!!!
its like ...when i want something...i need a back up...
a back up which totally destroyed everything.....
its really sad... i want to run away....
i felt veerryyy STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID because i made up the decision so soon...

i want to tell someone about this... i want to talk to someone about my sadness...
but to bad..there's no one i can really trust right now...
even if i tell..everyone still won't think im part of their life...
life of a really trustworthy friend.